Am I good enough?
Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of “leading” others in general, often questioning yourself if you are “good enough”? You are in good company: I noticed, that this is the case for many of my clients, when they become a new teamleader. Or perhaps you tend towards the other extreme, being overly confident, that you either do an amazing job or don’t need the leadership stuff at all?
Am I good enough?
Perhaps you like this:
Once upon a time, there was a queen ruling a faraway kingdom. Due to her wisdom, her country prospered and her people were free, happy and healthy. She was so famous and popular, that many came to learn from her.
One day, a girl visited the queen. She turned out to be the daughter of a cruel king ruling a neighbouring kingdom, treating his people badly, inventing more and more taxes to finance his luxury life style. The young princess however had a good heart and hated to see her people suffering. It was no secret, that the old king was very ill and everybody expected him to die soon.
The princess was scared at the prospect of ruling a run-down country with people hating her, but she was also eager to show that she could be a better queen. She just didn’t know how, and was full of self-doubt. She hoped to get some advice from the queen and asked her: “What is the secret of your wisdom and the wealth of your country? For the sake of my people, please share it with me.”
The queen was surprised, but willing to help. She gave her two little pouches. One contained a gold nugget, the other was filled with black dust. She said: “Put the pouch with the gold in the left pocket of your coat, the dust in the right.
When you feel lonely and discouraged, and wonder: Am I good enough? –
touch the gold and remember:
“The whole universe was created for you”.
You have so many talents. You can comfort and help your people. You don’t need to wait until you are “good enough”, you are just alright as you are.
When you feel high and mighty, touch the dust in the right pocket and remember:
“I am but dust and dirt”.
Be humble and realize how limited you are with the mistakes you make every day, and how perishable your life is.
Your people will expect a lot of you. People tend to idealize their rulers and want to have heroes. Show them that you are able to be a good queen, but also let them see your limitations and admit your weaknesses. Sooner or later they will love you for what you are.”
“That’s it? “Asked the princess surprised. “Do you really think that I can turn this round?” The queen smiled. “Well, that’s the foundation and a great start. The rest is lifelong learning, hard work, love for your people and country, and the passion to serve.”
When the old king died, the princess took over and ruled her kingdom for many years. The country flourished under her reign and her people loved her. She never forgot the queen’s advice and became good friends with her.
They all lived happily ever after.
Story: Jutta Nedden, after a Hadisic saying
which goes back to Rabbi Simcha Bunim Bonhart (1765–1827)
How about you?
Are you more on the “dust-side” or on the “gold-side”, when it comes to your abilities of leading a team? Nagging self-doubt – Am I good enough – or overly confidence?
How about integrating both extremes:
“We have to reconcile within ourselves this profound two-sidedness of human nature. Holding it, in all its complexity, as the old Hadisic tale from the Jewish tradition says:
‘Everybody ought to have a coat with two pockets. In one pocket is gold to remind us, that we are infinitely valuable – and in the other pocket is dirt or dust, to remind us that we are simply of the earth, just that humble.’
[We need leaders being] able to take a journey, that holds this two-sidedness together, that models for us what it means to live divided no more.”
Parker J. Palmer – An Undivided Life
What would it mean to you, your team and your business if you were leading with “dust and gold”?
Perhaps you already lead with dust and gold?
Please leave a comment.
Image credits: dreamstime.com, Jutta Nedden
© Lead & Connect, Jutta Nedden, 10/2015
Love the idea of leading (or living) with “dust and gold,” Jutta. A beautiful call to practice humility without collapse…and to share one’s jewel without hubris. Thank you!
Thank you, Dana, I am pleased that you find it inspiring.
a perfect reminder of story I’d heard and forgotten. thank you. My pockets now have gold for when I’m scard and thinking small, and dust for when I’m attaching to my personal importance. – actually the dust can also be a reminder of being infinite in a different way—as in we are all dust and thus all connected…all part of what is infinite
What a beautiful thought, cathy, we are all dust and therefore connected. Thank you very much.
Hi Jutta,
This is a lovely story and a great reminder of the paradox which infuses so much of our lives: dust and gold at one and the same time. I wonder if the trick is to seek the ‘balancing’ point between the extremes of ‘I’m not enough’ and ‘I’m so wonderful’. It seems to me that the fulcrum rests at: “I am enough – and I am no more or less than any being”.
Thank you for sharing, Sarah, yes indeed, it’s about finding a balance. For me that’s a never ending process. As soon as I’ve found this “balancing” point… upps, I’ve already lost it again… 🙂 . So lovely: “I am enough – and I am no more or less than any being”.